The Key To Long-Term Relationship Success



Do you know the secret key to a successful relationship? Many people might answer and say things like communication, honesty, and trust as a few examples. While they're not wrong (these are important things after all within a relationship), the real key to a successful relationship is not known by too many people, which is love languages!


Knowing about and understanding what love languages are, and implementing your partner's primary love language in turn, is crucial information to know if you want to be in a long-term, monogamous relationship with your dream woman.


The 5 Types Of Love Languages


Did you know that there are five types of love languages altogether? No matter what stage of your relationship you are at, if you want to be in a long-term, monogamous relationship with your dream woman, then you need to know this information! Because understanding what the different love languages are exactly (and truly knowing how to implement this knowledge too!) is going to take your dating (and relationship!) to a whole other level.


In fact, it took my relationship with my partner to a whole other level when we started really focusing on and incorporating each other's love languages into how we interreacted with each other on a daily basis. And we actively celebrate together knowing that we have a fantastic, healthy, and loving relationship that only continues to grow and get better each day in every way.


My wish is for you to experience what I have – a partnership filled with passion, love, patience, support, and intimacy.


Where Did This Love Languages List Come From?


So you might be wondering "Rebecca, where exactly did this whole love languages list come from exactly?" Well before fully diving in-depth into what the 5 types of love languages are, it's important to know the background and history of where these different love languages came from.


Do you know how you feel most loved by someone? Well the term "love languages" was first coined in 1992 by a man named Gary Chapman, whose theory explored the idea that everyone can give and receive love in 5 different ways. These 5 different ways include:

  • The Words of Affirmation love language

  • The Quality Time love language

  • The Receiving Gifts love language

  • The Acts of Service love language

  • The Physical Touch love language

While give and receive love through all the love languages listed above, according to Chapman's theory, each person actually has one primary love language that stands out the most and speaks to how they feel most loved. And knowing your primary love language can be especially powerful knowledge to know about yourself. Because when we can understand each other, and how we each give and receive love, we can in turn develop deeper connections.


While it’s important to know your own love language (so you can communicate clearly how you feel most loved to the woman in your life), it’s even more important to know your partner’s love language too. Let's explore each love language more in-depth so you can best understand each love language, and how to in turn, express each one to your partner, depending on what her primary love language is.


The Words of Affirmation Love Language


Has anyone ever told you how proud they are of you? Do you find yourself lighting up when a woman tells you how handsome you are? Are you eagerly waiting for a woman to text you back so you can hear from her again? If you answered yes to these questions, then it's possible that the Words of Affirmation love language might just be your primary love language.


For those whose primary love language is the Words of Affirmation love language, actions don't always speak louder than words. In fact, unexpected compliments mean the world to you. If the Words of Affirmation love language is your primary love language then you know fully well that the words that come out of someone's mouth, especially from the mouth of someone you care about, are crucial.


Because you know these words can either make you feel immeasurable joy or can leave you feeling hurt and crushed. Hearing the words, “I love you,” for example, are important for you to hear, and hearing out loud the reasons behind that love boosts your spirits. However, insults can leave you feeling shattered and are not easily forgotten, and in some cases, even forgiven. Kind and encouraging words build you up though.


Now if this is your love language, you know what is needed to make you feel most loved. But what do you do if this is not your love language, but the love language of your partner? Here are a few ideas of how you can "speak" her love language to make her feel most loved by you:


  • Tell her (in-person, text, on the phone, etc.) something you like about her (ex: You are the most beautiful woman in my life).

  • When she has a small (or big) win in her life, celebrate with her and tell her how proud you are (ex: she gave a great presentation at work).

  • Write her a love note and share about how you feel about her.


The Quality Time Love Language


When you like a woman, do you find yourself wanting to spend all your free time with her? Does it really irk you when your woman is on her phone while on a date with you? Do you enjoy “hanging out” with your partner, even if you have nothing to do together but just be together? If you answered yes to these questions, then it's possible that the Quality Time love language might just be your primary love language.


For those who have the Quality Time love language as their primary love language then nothing says “I love you” more than having your partner's full, undivided attention on you. In fact, you probably have a love-hate relationship with technology, because you feel most loved when you and your woman don’t have your noses buried in your phones. But when a woman can’t put her phone down to give you her attention, it hurts your heart the most.


Because being there, and I mean fully there, for someone who’s primary love language is the Quality Time love language, is critical to them. In fact, you’re the type of man that defines feeling most loved when the TV is turned off and all the chores and tasks are on hold. This way you can just soak up the moment and truly be there together with no distractions and enjoy each other’s presence is when you feel most special and loved by your partner.


Now if this is your love language, you know what is needed to make you feel most loved. But what do you do if this is not your love language, but the love language of your partner? Here are a few ideas of how you can "speak" her love language to make her feel most loved by you:

  • Invest in each other’s interests (especially hers) and do activities together that can deepen your connection more through sharing time.

  • Take a vacation day off and spend the day together doing her favourite things.

  • Plan a movie night and watch her favourite movie cuddled up on the couch together.

  • Turn off all digital entertainment and disconnect from the internet (yes that includes staying off your phones!) and just connect with each other.


The Receiving Gifts Love Language


Does receiving a thoughtful gift from a woman make you feel most loved? What about a grand gesture to show how much your partner cares about you? Do you feel a homemade gift is the best kind of gift you could receive? If you answered yes to these questions, then it's possible that the Receiving Gifts love language might just be your primary love language.


Now don’t be quick to mistake this for meaning that anyone who has this as their primary love language is materialistic by any means. For those who have the Receiving Gifts love language as their primary love language, they thrive on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.


If you speak this love language, then the perfect gift shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to purchase and/or bring the gift to you. Material gifts aren't the only thing you love though, as gestures (especially daily gestures) by your partner can easily be just as important too as they are a gift within themselves.


Your biggest fear and worry if this is your love language is having your partner miss your birthday, anniversary, or any other special event or holiday that is important to you. A hasty, thoughtless gift or absence of everyday gestures from the woman you care about can also be equally disastrous and can make you feel unloved and uncared for. Plain and simple, gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.


Now if this is your love language, you know what is needed to make you feel most loved. But what do you do if this is not your love language, but the love language of your partner? Here are a few ideas of how you can "speak" her love language to make her feel most loved by you:

  • Purchase a small stuffed animal and a romantic card to give her for a special holiday/event that is important to her.

  • Buy her favourite flowers, arrange them in a vase, and give them to her with a kiss on the lips.

  • Make her a small homemade gift that you put thought and effort into and give it to her ‘just because you love to see her smile’.


The Acts of Service Love Language


Do you love when a woman cooks a meal for you or washes the dishes after you eat together? Are you wishing your partner would ask how she could help you out more? Do you enjoy when a woman offers to pay on the first date/a date with you? If you answered yes to these questions, then it's possible that the Acts of Service love language might just be your primary love language.


Can a woman helping you out around the house, working on a project together, or just doing something for you without complaining really be a way of showing love? Absolutely! Actually for those who have the Acts of Service love language as their primary love language, they are relieved to have a woman step up and take charge in certain areas.


In fact, anything a woman can do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on you will speak volumes – HUGE love volumes that is! Actually, if your primary love language” is the Acts of Service love language, then the words that you want to hear most from a woman is “Let me do that for you.”


Now what will turn you off if this is your primary love language? Laziness, broken commitments, and your partner making even more work for you. In fact, these things make you feel like your feelings, your love language, doesn’t really matter to the woman you care about at all. When a woman serves you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.


Now if this is your love language, you know what is needed to make you feel most loved. But what do you do if this is not your love language, but the love language of your partner? Here are a few ideas of how you can "speak" her love language to make her feel most loved by you:

  • Cooking her favourite meal (especially if she normally cooks) and taking care of the dishes afterwards.

  • Make her a special bubble bath with her favourite scents, candles, and soft, relaxing music to help get into a peaceful and calm state.

  • Replace a broken lightbulb that she’s not able to reach or fix herself.


The Physical Touch Love Language


Has anyone ever described you as being “touchy-feely” before? Would you appreciate getting a personal massage more than a physical gift? Are you super comfortable with public displays of affection, even in front of large groups? Do you look forward to kisses and intimacy with your partner more than anything else? If you answered yes to these questions, then it's possible that the Physical Touch love language might just be your primary love language.


A person whose primary love language is the Physical Touch love language is, not surprisingly, very touchy. A lot of people make the common mistake though that a person who has the Physical Touch love language as their primary love language must be obsessed with sex and/or have a very high sex drive. However this isn’t necessarily the case.


The Physical Touch love language in fact doesn’t just encompass sex, but all sorts of physical intimacy. It can include “touches” as innocent as hugs and holding hands to more romantic touches like kissing and cuddling to, of course, more intimate touches like sex and foreplay. All these types of “touches” can be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love to someone whose primary love language is the Physical Touch love language.


If you have the Physical Touch love language as your primary love language, then you know how much physical presence is crucial to you. In fact, this love language struggles the most with long-distance relationships due to the fact that your partner is so far away and you can’t physically be there often to touch them or be touched in return.


If the Physical Touch love language is your primary love language then accessibility is crucial for you to be happiest with your partner, while neglect or abuse can be seen as unforgivable and destructive in your eyes. The most important thing to remember is that for you, appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.


Now if this is your love language, you know what is needed to make you feel most loved. But what do you do if this is not your love language, but the love language of your partner? Here are a few ideas of how you can "speak" her love language to make her feel most loved by you:

  • Wrap your arms around her waist and give her a long hug from behind while kissing her neck and shoulders.

  • Hold her hand when out in public, walking around a park or a store, etc.

  • Plan to give her a romantic/intimate back massage surrounded by candles and soft, relaxing music.

 

Author: Rebecca Bartley, Dating & Relationship Coach for Single Men


Rebecca Bartley is the Founder/Dating & Relationship Coach for Dating Bites, a coaching company dedicated to helping single men tackle their dating and relationship issues to attract their dream woman and form a long-lasting relationship together. With over 10 years worth of industry knowledge and experience when it comes to dating and relationships, Rebecca has been coaching both men and women to become more successful in their relationships and the dating world overall. If you are interested in working one-on-one with Rebecca, click here to book a FREE Strategy Call with her to start seeing results and improving your love life today!